When You have problems in a relationship, you're supposed to discuss them. Not, unfairly screaming at someone that you're sick of them after LYING to them day after day that you "LOVE" THEM! Leading the other person to believe that everything is fine.

>>I'm not interested in things he's interested in, which means we have pretty much nothing in common.

That didn't stop me from trying my best to always find stuff to entertain and please you. If there's a failure in this dept. then See The Next Sentence.

>>I don't know what my interests even are.

For 3 years now, I've consistantly tried to expose you to new ideas and hobbies. RADIO (internet and otherwise), PAINTING & DRAWING(I've bought you books on the subject and paint supplies, even took you to an art store and you haven't brought it up since), SCRIPTWRITING(Very Recently) Part of a relationship is helping each other in their interests and endevors or at least being supportive of those things.

>>I'm too dependant on him.

Yes you are. LEARN TO DRIVE. I've offered, but you don't want to do it with me? FINE. Hire somebody, get a friend to teach you. We have a car they can use. It's not my fault that you can't drive. If you want to do something, ASK!!!! Short of getting a Kitten, that's all you have to do to get my assistance in anything you're interested in.

As far as anything else is concerned, you have an apartment with me... It's your apartment as well. If you want to COOK, CLEAN, Buy Food for youself for the week (not a day at a time), PAINT THE WALLS, WHATEVER, YOU CAN DO IT!!! What's stopping you from doing ANYTHING independent of me?? NOTHING! When you want to go out with friends, I'm like "Go ahead!"

>>Everything in my life revolves around him, what he does, what he plans, whether he wants to do something or not.

THAT'S A BOLD FACED LIE!!!!!! Of course I'd like you to be involved in what I do (See the part about being supportive) But when you want to do something, I'm 98% of the time the one most pro-active in making sure that you get to do it. When you wanted to go to the curiosa festival, I had a problem with you spending $60 on a ticket because we were hard up on money at the time. But you still did it. (Because you can) And when it came to being able to get to the concert, you could have gone with a co-worker, but you chose to have me drive you and pick you up. (It made me happy that you were having the chance to go out and have fun INDEPENDENT of me.) So you went to your concert while I did the LAUNDRY.

Basically, if you want to do something, it doesn't revolve around me. Go and do it. But, if you're in a "Relationship" you have to be able to go the other way.

(I.E. realize that it's not always about you.)

Yes, I'd like to have friends over and I'd like to do things that you don't want to do.

When YOU want to go to Victoria's Secret or Bath and Body Works or do something that doesn't exactly fit in to my "Favorite things to do" list, I accompany you with NO or minimal complaint. Because I support you and like it when you're happy.

>>I need to make my own decisions about things. If I don't want people to come to the apartment because I need some peace and quiet, I should be able to have peace and quiet.

You can make your own decisions about a lot of things. But, if you wanted total rule over your kingdom you should have moved out on your own instead of luring me to Nashville to live together. Listen to that word... Together... hmmm I wonder if someone else is involved.

As far as peace and quiet, turn off the TV. Tell me (politely) to get out of the house or go walk to one of the 5 parks in our neighborhood and read a book under a tree. There's a million ways to accomplish this.

Taking to note the people coming over, it rarely even happens. And most of the time when it does, it's YOUR FRIENDS Klara & Tyson that we're entertaining. I should be able to have some friends over every once in a blue moon.

>>I need space.

Read the above statement.

>>He doesn't listen.

Alright let me clear this up. Most people on reading this tidy sentence would believe that this means I'm inattentive to her needs. Not the case. She's picking on me because I have the inability to quote back to her verbatim what she says. Or even better, if I ask her to repeat herself because I was doing something else at the time or I happened to have actually not heard her, she repeats it by SCREAMING AT ME.

Have the fucking common courtesy to realize I'm not super human. I'm sorry I don't drop my fucking pencil and listen to your co-worker bullshit verbatim like you're some sort of EF Hutton personified. I really do care about you and your day and how you're feeling. If I didn't I'd just tell you to shut the fuck up. instead of asking you to repeat yourself.

>>We argue all of the time.

You and I have had a thousand wonderful days. You only need to read your journals to figure that out. We've also had our share of arguments. If you feel that we argue all the time, what do you think prompts the argument. From my viewpoint, it's usually something trivial and stupid, and it doesn't take a psychiatrist to tell me that most of it stems from your impatience with me, your disregard for my feelings as a person and your personal feeling that I'm your captor or prison guard.

Whenever you don't like someone who you have to deal with on a daily basis you usually strike out against them. (Look at Mimi and Drew) the difference from the comparison I've made is that I was under the impression that you loved me. And whenever you have one person who loves and the other person who doesn't, the indifferent person has the unfair upper hand.

>>I'm angry at him all of the time.

If you liked me maybe you wouldn't be angry at me. Anytime you have a negative view of someone

>>He's exasperated with me all of the time.

Because no matter what I try to do you're not happy. And when you and I DO discuss things it seems that YOU are the one who truly doens't listen. (Being insensitive not missing words)

>>He tells me all of the time I don't touch him or tell him I love him enough.

The only time I get you to even say "I Love You" is after I've said it.

the "I Love you Too" is not as powerful as someone saying randomly "I Love you"

And my suspicions have been proven by this journal post. 5 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!

5 FUCKING MONTHS OF "I LOVE YOU TOO's"??????????

I'm fucking shaking as I write this, but I never thought you could be so cold.

>>I didn't grow up in that kind of a household. I grew up in the kind of household where my mom felt uncomfortable hugging her own children. So I'm not touchy-feely and he needs someone to touch him all of the time.

I don't need it ALL THE TIME, but twice before christmas would help. I'm sorry about your homelife, and honestly we've talked about this and it makes me sad. It was something that upset you as well, at least when we talked about it. But by touching I mean, putting you hand on someone's leg when you sit next to them. a rub of the back or playing with hair.

It's a simple way to let someone know that you like them without having to say anything. It's what the educated folks call, body language.

And honestly, if you're telling me that you've hated me for 5 months now, I don't think that my being concerned with you not touching me or telling me that you love me is unfounded. Matter of fact I think i had a right to bring it up and tell you that I was feeling unloved.

We hardly ever make love. I don't even feel that I need to get into this. If you're not touching me or telling me that you love me, you're always hostile towards me and you NEVER MAKE ANY ADVAMCES anymore. I'm not going to try and have sex with you. Why would I want to have sex with someone who doesn't like me?? Recently we did have sex and it was honestly awkward. It's not that my sexual need has decreased, it's just that I'd like to feel like I'm wanted. I don't feel that's too much to ask.

>>He'd rather go out and hang out with friends at night, I'd rather have a nice quiet night home.

Whaaa??? How often do I hang out with friends at night?? Hardly ever! When we do have friends, it's usually Klara & Tyson. When we're out, it's usually at PM and sure some of my friends do show up. Most of them are your friends as well. As you've demonstrated, you don't have to be at PM. You can be at home enjoying PEACE & QUIET. And you don't have to make a scene and storm out of PM to do it. (I was even nice enough to go after you and drive you home)

>>I work seven days a week, he works one.

That's not fair. When you and I first got together I worked all the time and you sat at home on your ass. You know that Summer is my slow season and it picks back up in the fall. I'd also like to point out that it's not my fault that my job pays more than yours. I can bring home in a week what you bring home in two. And that's working as little as I do. I tried to get you into waiting tables a long time ago. I understand that you don't want to do that, but if you're unhappy with your hours and your pay then pick up the newspaper, look online or go find someplace where the'll pay you a high enough salary to have a day off.

>>Working seven days a week is taking its toll on me. I mean, I like my jobs, BUT I'D LIKE A FUCKING DAY OFF! And I honestly feel he's only with me now to help with rent and bills.

Once again heartless and unfair.

When we broke up in May, he yelled and screamed at me and said there was no way we were ever going to get back together. As soon as I called my mom to come get me, he was all weepy telling me he needs me to stay and he loves me. When I came back and told him I wanted to stay broken up and I was moving away, he exploded and asked about our lease agreement. To me, it seems like that's the reason he wanted to stay together. Even after I agreed to stay with him, I've been wondering if the apartment and money was the reason. If it is, fuck him. If it's not, it's not fair to him that I feel this way.

You and I are in more than one relationship Valorie. I can't excuse my behavior in our past arguments, but me realizing that I didn't want to give you up and the fact that we still have an agreement (Our Lease) that we went into together are not one in the same. Sure, they are both something that concerns me, the same way it concerns me now.

Let's put it this way, if Matt had decided to walk out on me in the old apartment I'd be pissed at him. Furious, because he would have fucked me. But honestly not as much as you were going to and are now fucking me. In the old apartment I could have simply gotten another roomate to pick up the slack. However, you and I live in a one bedroom apartment. Unless my new roomie wants to sleep on the couch or in bed with me, it's not happening.

You can go home to your parents (who will convienently pick up your half of the bill for breaking the lease) While I'm left holding my own in the street or giving everything I make to try and keep the lease agreement.

So tell me, should I have not talked to you about that? Along with the fact that I Loved you and wanted you to stay and work things out?

The real problem here is that you not only agreed to stay but you also promised to try and work things out. We had a looooooooooong detailed conversation about how we'd work things out and what we'd both try to do more. You even admitted that you don't do things around the house because you know that eventually they'll be done for you. You have no personal responsibility and that's why you wanted to move out on your own because you felt that if you HAD to do it, it'd get done.

But, you lied to me. you promised that you'd try to work things out (and that you "LOVED ME") and instead you sat around telling yourself how much you hate me and taking it out on me.

>>I'm still so angry about something he did when I was in Virginia two years ago. I can't get over it. I probably won't get over it. I don't trust him anymore. I honestly think that if he had the opportunity to do it again, he would. And then he'd figure I was dumb enough to stay with him again.

OK, reality check here. I've been with you three years. We just moved out in our own apartment and I hardly ever go anywhere. If I was planning on cheating on you you would think that I'd be the one clamoring for space and shit. The funny thing is, in every relationship I've been in where someone starts accusing me of cheating (or the possibility thereof) it's usually because they're the ones seeing someone else. So what is it?

As far as this argument goes, we've been through this. It's well documented on both our journals. We've both had our faults, and our relationship has changed drastically since the beginning. The philosophy here is not the same as the beginning. You and I were supposedly commited to one another. I don't feel that I'm the one who's love should be doubted.

>>>Well I can't take heartbreak anymore.

You can't take heartbreak??? You??? You came into this relationship knowing full well who I was and why I was who I was. You've read all of my past and I've explained in detail how I've been more than hurt. It took you how long before you met my parents? Oh boy, I can't believe you.

I'm not even sure if I'm in love with him anymore. I mean, I do love him, but am I in love with him? I don't know. All of the other feelings have been busy taking over.

If you hate me you hate me. I can't help that.

>>This is small, but it pisses me off that he's the authority on whether I can get a kitten or not. I've wanted a kitten since I was born, pretty much. Now that I'm twenty-one, I should be able to get one without anyone save a landlord telling me whether I can or not. I want to be independant. I want to make my own decisions. I want to not worry about what someone will say when I spend my own money that I made myself. I want to be the only person I have to answer to when it comes to my life.I want to LEARN TO DRIVE so I don't have to be dependant on others. I want to go to school and HAVE TIME TO DO IT! I don't want to work seven fucking days a week. I want friends. I want to be able to do what I please. I want to go where I please. I want to figure out what my own interests are. I want to learn how to make it out in the world on my own without my parents or a boyfriend to be able to help me. I don't want a life with someone else.

>>I WANT MY OWN LIFE.

What can I do, except let you go. If it's what you want then I can't stop you. But we have a lot of loose ends we have to tie before we break it. As well as a lot of stuff to seperate. You're her so I'll stop for now.